Tag: Tarot

The Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot: The Reawakening – A Deck Review

by Jamieson Wolf, posted in Tarot, Tarot Deck Reviews

Of course, I knew about The Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot when it first came out.

It was independently released and a very limited printing and I just remember people being so thrilled to have snagged a copy of the deck. I hadn’t been lucky enough to do so and the deck kind of fell off my radar until I learned that the deck was being re-released and published by Lewellen and Blue Angel. I delved into the online images and discovered a whole new world.

Inspired by the legends and myths of before times, I was curious to see the deck looked. I wondered at a tarot deck filled with beings from all kinds of beings from myth and mysticism. I was a little worried about it. I had used decks that drew from myth and legend before, but they had been centered to one mythology or one type of legend. Would the deck work at all? Sure, the art was gorgeous, but how would the cards read? I was so curious and really wanted to delve into the world that Avalon Cameron and Ana Tourian had created.

When a friend gave me a gift card for Yule, I knew that there was only one thing I wanted. I got myself a copy of The Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot. I opened the box and was prepared for disappointment, positive that my excitement would not continue after the fever pitch. It’s like this sometimes with decks. I thirst for some decks, only to find that as a whole, the art doesn’t work or the guidebook is badly written. They become part of my collection, but I don’t use them, the attraction I felt for the cards gone now that the thirst was satisfied.

A lot of the decks I thirst after do end up salivating that thirst and continue to do so. Examples of decks like this are The True Black Tarot, The Emphere Tarot, The Spacious Tarot, The Light Seers Tarot, Fifth Spirit Tarot, Tarot La Base!, The Painted Tarot and The Phantomwise Tarot. These are card I turn to again and again for guidance and advice, but there are so many others that don’t. There is nothing worse in the world of cartomancy than waiting for a deck for what seems like forever and finding that I don’t connect with the deck at all once I have it in my hands.

That didn’t happen with The Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot: The Reawakening. Instead, it has only increased. I’ve pretty much used this deck exclusively since December. Whenever I go to read with he deck, I’m drawn back into the world that has been created within the cards. When I open the box and flip through the cards, the art just pulls me into a world that I want to be part of. Added to that, it’s widened my knowledge of legend and lore. I was surprised by how many of the myths and stories I did recognize, but there were so many other cards that featured legends that I did recognize.

In a way, the Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot has helped to guide me back to a place within myself that I had closed off. It gave me the windows that I needed to look within myself and helped me to find the door I wanted to open. More than that, the card helped me to see myself as I truly was without all my perceived failings and negativity. It can be a very raw deck or a very healing one, it all depends on the cards I pull. I love decks that aren’t afraid of telling it like it is. I’ve never been afraid of the shadow side of things. I mean, we’re not made completely of light. There would be no light without the shadow, so we can’t ignore the negative. It is what helps us to grow. The Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot does this with impeccable balance. Using the cards gave me a new light to shine upon myself and I am forever grateful.

The deck comes in a beautiful two-piece box with a lifting ribbon, and the cardstock is absolutely fantastic, thick but nice and springy. It shuffles beautifully, whether you are overhand shuffling or riffle shuffling. The colours of the art are amazing and vibrant, and you can tell that creating this new version of the deck was a joy. The inside of the box holds the message: This is a world between worlds, a place of discovery, redemption, damnation and self-realisation. How will you weave your story? The Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot helped me to see the kind of story that I wanted to weave in my own life and have helped immeasurably in re-discovering the parts of myself that I had hidden a long time ago. It was a comfort sometimes to delve into the guidebook and learn about the myths and then read the stories to find out how I could relate to each card.

I wasn’t at al prepared to have this kind of connection with a deck of cards. My go to deck is The Wild Uknown. I received it for a gift from another friend years ago and have even gotten a tattoo of three cards from the deck on my right arm. Up until now, The Wild Uknown has been my spirit deck, but it looks like I finally have another.

The guidebook is a dream. Printed in full colour, it’s a chunky guidebook filled with spreads, a bit of tarot history, rituals and the secrets that the cards hold. It’s not only a tour through the cards, but a tour through your own spirit as well. Each card has an entry on what the cards means, the story or narrative behind the card and the upright and reversed meanings as well as numerology and astrology notes for each card and journal prompts that will enhance your writing and help you get to know the cards in more personal way.

When you get to the Minor Arcana, you are given an overview of what each suit means and symbolizes before they get into the cards themselves. I’m normally not one for guidebooks but have found myself diving in and reading the story that the cards present. Even more, as I said above, when I delved into the myths and legends brought to life by each card, I took the time to see how those stories could be a mirror to what I was going through. Tarot and story have always been mirrors for me to help me see myself completely. I turn to Tarot to learn more about myself, but rarely am I shone where I need to look in myself so clearly.

I normally flip through the guidebooks that come with most deck and instead I work to find myself in the cards. However, the companion book to the Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot: The Reawakening reads like those storybooks I loved so long ago as a kid that helped me look at myself and how I interacted with the world by giving me examples of how things could be. The companion book read like this and it contains so much lore and wonder.

I am in awe over everything to do with this deck. Everything from the gorgeous box to the guidebook and the cards contained within is absolute perfection. I can’t wait to see what The Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot can help me to learn about myself as I continue my journey onward in the land of legend and mythology.

You can learn more about the Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot here: https://blueangelonline.com/shop/card-decks/tarot-cards/bonestone-earthflesh-tarot-the-reawakening/

The Bonestone and Earthflesh Tarot is available from Blue Angel Publishing and they can be found here: https://blueangelonline.com/

Tarot Chimera by Nitasia Roland and art by Odilon Redon

by Jamieson Wolf, posted in Tarot, Tarot Deck Reviews, Tarot Decks

I saw the Tarot Chimera in a video deck review by The Hermit’s Cave (which can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNgJl9mCgDY&t=770s ) and was immediately smitten. I loved the designs, the quiet play of light and dark, the drawings that were at once arresting and intriguing.  For a lot of the cards, they reflected the emotion or intent, even if it didn’t contain the symbolism of each card.

I’ve always loved tarot decks that delved into the shadows a little to see what could be found. The Shadowland Tarot, The Wanderer Tarot and Carnival at the End of the World Tarot and The Starman Tarot are great examples of decks that ask you to look at the darker elements of life and show you where you can find the light.

Naturally, when I saw the Tarot Chimera, I knew that it was perfect for me.

Created and curated by Nitasia Roland, Tarot Chimera features the breathtaking art of French Symbolist artist Odilon Redon (1840–1916). It is styled in the RWS framework and the artwork by Rendon is surreal and haunting, but so incredible.

Redon was a well-known artist and symbologist who dealt with the speculative, loved symbols and the magic that they contained. Roland writes about her journey with Redon his art in her expertly written guidebook. She thought the art naturally lent itself to a Tarot deck and she is not wrong. The art by Redon is just breathtaking on its own, but when paired with a card number and meaning, it adds depth to the art. The images give new meaning to the cards, and I found myself getting blissful lost within the cards.

Roland has written an incredible guidebook that takes you on a journey of its own. She talks about Redon and what called her to his art and how his art reflects the shadowy dark part of our psyche. Her card meanings are spot on, not just in meaning, but she tied the art to the card beautifully. She took me on a journey within myself. I always look at the cards first and then sit with the guidebook, but she has designed something that works in sympatico with each other. You can read with the cards on their own, but the guidebook helps take you to places you may not have expected or normally associated with the cards.

Weiser has done an incredible job in quality. The cardstock is top notch, and the gold gilding is superb. It’s a linen cardstock that shuffles so beautifully and it’s only got a tiny bit of a glaze to it, and this helps the art pop even more than it would have. It’s a beautiful deck to overhand or riffle shuffle with. This is a sumptuous and surprising deck.

This deck of cards made me feel like I was walking around in the spirit and psyche of its creator and seeing parts of myself reflected back at me. I can’t wait to get lost in the shadows of the Chimera and find out what they have to say to me.

Card of the Month: 7 of Cups

The world around us is full of turmoil, so it’s a good time to look within to give you time to breathe. You are being given an opportunity to look at the parts of yourself that you have kept in the dark. When you close your eyes, it can be difficult to find your way in the dark. Take time to look at the different treasures you can see.

Though there may be some difficult things to take in about yourself, remember that all the parts of you, even those that you’ve kept in the dark, deserve love. When you look within, you may not recognize the parts of yourself that you’ve kept hidden, but they have never stopped believing in you.

Find the inner child and look within yourself with wonder.

Chapter Seventy-Five – King of Pentacles

by Jamieson Wolf, posted in A Tarot Guide, Memoir, Personal Growth, Someone Else’s Life, Tarot

The sky was the depth and wonder of black velvet.

The air around me was filled with the promise of something wonderful. It had taken me a week to make my costume. I was going as Demeter and Rhonda was dressing as a succubus. We had found my wig at the Zesty Mart on Bank Street; it had a good selection of stuff for Halloween costumes. The wig looked like real hair, and it gave me a black bob. It made me look older than I was. I had done my own makeup and had given myself blue shadowy eyelids and dramatic cheekbones.

I had found a long bolt of blue cloth and had arrange it to fall off one shoulder. I had found another bolt of black tuille and had sewn to hang from the waist of a simple black skirt. I wore my Doc Martins and carried a basket filled to the brim with leaves that I had collected and arranged. My costume was supposed to make me look as if I had been wandering among the snow, looking for her daughter. I had paled out my skin with white powder.

We were dressed for the Witches Ball. We were meeting Lisa and Darnelle there and a few more of our friends. I knew that Sophie, Fox and Jenn. Catherine was coming with Vince and Amanda. It was odd to me to me to have so many people I knew coming together. It filled me with feeling akin to joy, but it was somehow more. It shone brighter within me and I danced upon the thrum of this feeling as we skipped closer to Barrymore’s.

Barrymore’s threw the Witches Ball every year and I had never been before. I had been told to expect a night of magic and wonder and merriment. From the sea of people dressed in costumes, the others had not led me wrong. When we entered the bar, it was to find a sea of people in costumes and a band playing music on the stage. There would be a few bands tonight. The stage had been draped in webs and streamers that were made to look like a spider’s web. The triple moon had been painted on the stage wall and there were lights made to resemble candles everywhere.

It was too loud to speak sometimes, but we leaned in close and lost ourselves to the joy of finding others we knew in the crowd of people. I waved at Rainbow and Sunshine came in for a quick hug before heading to the bar. Catherine pulled me onto the dance floor so that I could lose myself to the music that was thumping through the room. It was filled with the bunt smell of smoke, the tang of sweat and a heady cloud of sage.

I let myself get lost in the music and the joy of the moment. The veil was thin tonight, and I knew that there was the potential for great things to be done tonight. I looked at everyone as I danced and I knew that I was lucky. In that moment, the air filled with the sounds of joy, I knew that my life had not gone to plan, but it had brought me here to be present when magic was being made.

The people around me, those that filled my life with such light, showed me that I was wealthier than I had ever thought possible. I had lost one family and gained another. Likewise, I had lost one home only to find another.

A lot had been taken from me, but I had found what mattered most: a place to call my own where I could build the foundations I needed. It felt weird and kind of magical to know that I had a home to go to, a bed of my own and a door that I could lock against the world if I chose to, or open to let the world in.

As I danced, I took hold of the Pentacle that I wore around my neck. It rooted me to this moment, to the earth around me. Within the room, I could see fire, breathe in air, feel the earth beneath my feet and drink libation. I knew at that moment, that I was everything that the earth offered. Holding onto that Pentacle, I knew who I was and I was finally at home in myself.

It was an odd feeling but one mad all the sweeter when the music changed and the bar started playing a remix of Rasputin by Bony M. I let out a laugh. My life was completely unrecognizable from where this path had begun.

I lost myself to the music and the scent of sage, sweat and booze that filled the air. I danced and I looked forward to what would come.

Chapter Seventy-Three – Knight of Pentacles

by Jamieson Wolf, posted in A Tarot Guide, Memoir, Someone Else’s Life

“And you’re going to need more clothes. You can’t move into your place without any real clothes, of and you need bedsheets.”

We were in the Giant Tiger in the Byward Market. Rhonda was putting things in my cart. She put a set of one-hundred percent flannel sheets in, along with a pair of comfortable looking pyjama’s. “I’m not sure I’ll need those.” I told her.

“Cus you’re such a slut, right?” She winked at me. “No, trust me, you’ll want these. The sheets will keep you warm in the winter, make no mistake. Unless you have someone to cuddle up to.”

“It’ll be a while before that happens.”

“Never say never!” Rhonda added a comfortable looking sweater in robins egg blue to the basket. “This is totally your colour.”

            I tried to put the sweater back, but Rhonda slapped my hand. “Hey, once its in the basket, it stays.”

“I can’t afford all of this.” I watched as she threw a three pack of ramen, a box of granola bars and jars of peanut butter and jelly into basket. I was trying to think of what little money I had and how I would make it stretch.

“Nothing doing. I’ve told you already that you aren’t paying for any of this.”

I watched her move through the store like a woman on a mission. She added what looked like a soft blanket and packs of underwear and socks to the basket. She handed one basket to me and grabbed another. She moved with purpose but also with patience. She was being very patient with me. “I can’t let you do that.”

“You can and you will. I’m loyal to my friends, Jamieson. Let me be a friend to you. Friends help friends when they need help. You’ve been told you have to do everything yourself all the time. But you don’t have to, okay?”

We walked up to the second floor which handled housewares and linens. She threw bath towels into the second basket. “You’re going to need these, and look! A fuzzy housecoat!”

“That will look out of place in a boarding house.”

“What, you’re going to rush across to the bathroom stark naked? Plus, what if you want to do a strip show for someone?” She gave me a wink and threw in a few t-shirts.

“Like that will happen.” I said.

“Only cus you don’t want it to. Be open to new possibilities, Jamieson. That’s all you have to do, the rest will follow.”

The items in the baskets were piling up. She handed me one of the baskets and grabbed another. On the third floor, they had things dishes and small pieces of furniture. Rhonda grabbed a small table and put it in the basket.

“I don’t need a table.”

“Yes, you do. Where do you have your altar right now?”

“I don’t have one.”

“Right, so you need a table. You need to have somewhere in your home that’s a sacred space for you, so that you can converse with Spirit.”

She picked up a box that contained an unassembled table and put it in the new basket. “Easy peasy, you just screw the legs in. Did you any candles for your altar? How about a burning dish for incense?” She plunked one in the basket.

“You don’t have to do all this.”

“I know I don’t. Just let me help you, okay? It means a lot that you let me help you.”

The look she gave me was one filled with hope. I could tell that this simple act of kindness was as huge for her as it was for me. All I had to do was accept the gift. “Why is it so important to help me? I’m not anyone.”

“You’re wrong. You are Jamieson Wolf and you are my friend, okay? That’s a good place to start.”

The cashier helped us bag everything and Rhonda and I took the bus back to Monk Street to put everything in my new room. It felt odd to know that I had a place of my own where I could lock the door and have safety.

Even now, as we stood in the middle of the room deciding where everything would go, it felt like it was too much. Catherine had found me a used bed and boxspring in the basement downstairs. “People often leave their beds when they move out.”

“I can’t take this,” I told her.

“Yes, you can,” Rhonda said. “Now tell Catherine thank you.”

“Thank you, Catherine.”

“Don’t mention it.” She gave me a brilliant smile, and I wondered what I had done to be graced by it.

I helped Rhonda make my bed. She had gotten me a simple duvet for the bed, too, even though I told her that I had blankets already. I carried them with me everywhere I went with everything else I owned in my purple backpack.

“Those were blankets for when you needed to run. This duvet is for a home. Keep the blankets for an emergency, okay?”

We spent the afternoon putting things together. I had a new bed, a table and a chair with a plate, bowl, knife, fork and spoon to eat with. We put that the corner of the room so that I could eat and look out the window. The other smaller table she placed on the other wall so that my spot for spiritual guidance could also be given the light of the window. I had my clothes nicely folded and kept in boxes that I placed at the foot of my bed. The door to the sunroom was open and it had a small carpet and a fold up chair so that I could sit out there and enjoy the sun and the growing plants that covered the windows. There was another box that served as my bookshelf.

I looked around at everything and was astounded to realize that this was my home. I hadn’t had a place of my own for so long that I had forgotten what it was like. Rhonda came to stand beside me, and she took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

“All kinds of fucking fantastic, isn’t it?”

“It is.”

We were silent for a moment. I took in the sounds of people and the music of the house that I could hear. Finally, Rhonda spoke.

“I remember when I first got off the streets.” She said. “I got my apartment and it was most amazing thing in the world because it was all mine, you know? Everything in the apartment was mine and no one could take it from me. The home was mine and only I could decide who I let in. The whole place felt too big, but not big enough, as if my spirit was bigger than it was, you know?”

I nodded and didn’t say anything at first. She had just voiced everything that I was feeling. These two room were all mine and only I could decide who would be allowed in.

“You asked me why I was doing all of this for you before.”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Because you’re my friend and you have been kinder to me than anyone else, I have ever known. Because I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I have to know that you will be okay, okay? I have to know that whatever happens to us, that I made sure you had the footing to see yourself as I see you. I have to make sure that you’re going to be okay.”

“Hey,” I said. “We’re okay, we’re always going to be okay.” I was worried by the way that she was talking and the tears that were sliding down her face.

“Yeah, I know. I know we’ll be.” She let out a breath and lit a cigarette. I handed her the ashtray that she had gotten me at the store. “Mostly because when I took the leap to get off the streets, there was no one to help me land on my feet. I had to do it all on my own. You’ve already had a lot happen to you. I wanted to make it easier for you than it was for me, okay?”

Now tears were sliding down my cheeks. I wiped them away. “Okay, thank you.” I took a breath. “I love you, Rhonda.”

“And aren’t you lucky that I love you back?” She let out a shaky wet laugh. “Let’s go get a coffee to celebrate your new home. I’ll let you buy, okay?”

“All right.” I hugged her, careful of her cigarette and we left my home. I took out the keys and locked the door behind me.

Chapter Seventy-One – Ten of Pentacles

by Jamieson Wolf, posted in A Tarot Guide, Memoir, Someone Else’s Life

The ride to the hospital was a blur.

I called the cab and while we waited for it to arrive, I called Lisa’s boyfriend Carl and Darnelle to let them know that Lisa’s water broke. I reached out to Sophie and let her know and I knew that she would let everyone else know.

I packed a bag for Lisa and helped her into the cab, giving the driver instructions to drive us to the general hospital. Lisa was trying to do deep breathing exercises and was attempting to light a cigarette for herself at the same time. I took the cigarette from her and butted it out. “Now is not the time.”

“I’m fucking stressing out. Now is the perfect time. I want a smoke before we get to the hospital.”

When she reached for her bag again, I took it and placed in my backpack. I had packed my own bag in preparation for this day as I knew that it would be coming soon. I sat in the cab and tried to encourage Lisa to do the breathing exercises that we had practised. Thankfully, the cab driver drove very quickly to get her to the hospital as fast as he could.

“You’re doing great, Lisa.”

“I want a fucking cigarette.”

“You can have one when this is all done. For now, just try breathing and focus on little Rosalind and try to calm yourself.”

“That’s kind of hard to do when a baby is trying to push it’s way out of my vagina.” She said harshly.

It’s almost over, I said to myself. It’s almost over and then I will be free.

I tried to keep her calm during the ride and when we finally arrived at the hospital, I thanked the driver. “Good luck to the lady,” he said.

“Thank you,” I told him and gave him a nice tip.

“Okay, I want to have a cigarette before we go in. Give me my fucking smokes.”

I ignored her and got Lisa into a wheelchair. I took her to the main emergency window and told the nurses there that Lisa’s water had broken.

The next hour or so was a blur as the nurses got Lisa comfortable on a bed and rolled it towards one of the rooms that were available. I was asked to help Lisa strip down so that she could put on a hospital gown. I was given a gown for myself so that I would be allowed into the delivery room.  

The doctors and nurses wheeled her into the surgery room and after that, it was a blur of motion, sound and the music that only a hospital room is capable of, the endless beeping and breathing and the beating of heart. During all of it, I held Lisa’s hand and told her that she would be okay, that she was a goddess, that she was capable of creating magic.

“You’re all I have,” she said. “Where is Carl?”

“He’s on his way. Try and stay calm.”

“I’m going to make him rue the day he got me pregnant!”

“That’s the spirit,” I told her. “Hold on to my hand as tightly as you want to.”

Lisa huffed out a breath. “I’m going to make him eat his fucking balls.”

“And I’m sure that Carl will appreciate that.” I told her. I thought it was best to agree with whatever she was saying, she was giving birth to life after all. She had seen me through so much and had given me a nest to grow in. Now, she would be raising another life in her home. I didn’t belong there anymore.

Lisa followed the doctor’s instructions, pushed when she needed to, breathed and paused when told. The entire time, she had hold of my left hand. I could no longer feel it. She looked at me and I was seeing the Lisa as she truly was: afraid and terrified. In that moment, Lisa and I shared something with each other. She looked at me with fear in her eyes, and I tried to tell her that everything was going to be okay. While she had hold of my hands, I tried to whisper this to her spirit. Lisa was in no fit state to hear me at the moment. It was my hope that her spirit would be receptive of the energy that I was giving to her. I pictured all my chakras sending her spirit what she would need, a beautiful rainbow shared between two people waiting to welcome a new person into the world.

In what seemed mere moments, but I’m sure it was longer, the doctor handed Lisa her beautiful baby girl. They cut the umbilical cord and made sure that Rosilind was okay. She was a beautiful five pounds and four ounces with a smattering of blond hair on her head. Rosilind seemed impossibly small, hardly even real, but she was. This tiny, beautiful human that had not existed a moment before but was here in front of me now.

Lisa handed her out to me without words. She didn’t need to ask; I came closer and wrapped her in my arms. She cuddled right in and hid her head in the crook of my arms. I wondered if she was excited for what the world had waiting for her. There would be a lot to fear, a lot to fight for but also a lot of joy. As I held her, I hoped that she would experience more joy than I did in her home and that she would grow into someone that would create rainbows out of rain.

There was the sound of footsteps behind us. Darnelle and her son, Fox, Sophie and Jenn came into the room, closely followed by Carl and the sound of others. We had all come together to celebrate this new life. None of us were related by blood, but we knew each other in our hearts and our spirits spoke the same language. We were kin and together, there was light.

I remembered to pull down some of the light from the air so that I could remember this moment and feel its warmth. I wrapped the light around my wrists like bracelets so that I could carry this memory with me.