Tarot Decks – Spirit of the Wolf

I don’t think there will ever be a last tarot deck.

I’ve come to realize that as much as I love reading tarot and delving into the mysteries of myself and the journey, I find myself on, I love collecting new tarot decks and other tarot related creations that call to me. With each one I find, be it a deck of Tarot, Oracle, Kiper or Lenormand cards, it’s like I’m finding a part of myself.

Tarot has become a part of how I breathe and that breath changes focus over time. There are times when I feel like I need strong guidance and wise counsel and other times when I need a soft and gentle hand to guide my way. I always find myself going to different decks for different situations. I’ve tried to stick with only one deck, and I did for a while. My first deck was The Ancient Egyptian Tarot. I love the mysticism that Egypt still brings to mind and using those cards was like communicating with a deeper part of my spirit. The Ancient Egyptian Tarot was with me during one of the most difficult times in my life and part of me.

After a break from card slinging, I learned to read tarot again with the Thoth Tarot and after I spent a lot of time with those cards, I needed to find a different path for myself. My path with the Thoth Tarot ended badly, though this had nothing to do with the cards themselves, but the person who taught me to read with them. I wanted to find comfort after a difficult time and knew that I had to walk away from the Toth Tarot. It was too wrapped up in who he was.

After such a bad experience with that was wrapped up within the Thoth Tarot, I needed to walk away from the tarot for a bit. I found myself drawn to The Enchanted Map Oracle by Colette Baron-Reid. They were a revelation at the time and provided me with soft comfort and much needed advice that I needed to turn my mind around and to not just focus on the positive but find a way to let go of the negativity so that I could see the path in front of me clearly. I had no idea that my path would lead me to meet Colette with my friend Christine.

When a friend gave me The Wild Unknown for Christmas, it was like I had found a piece of myself that I had given away a long time ago. I was hesitant picking up another tarot deck after what had happened with the Thoth Tarot. However, after a time with so much darkness, it was like finding light in the shadows, and Kim Krans uses colour to great effect within the art of The Wild Uknown, using the shadow to show how powerful a spot of light or colour can be.

It is the deck that I always return to, no matter how many decks I own. It’s where I feel most at home. The Wild Unknown is the deck that somehow gives me breath in a world where I sometimes don’t feel like I can breathe. I have three cards tattooed on my right shoulder so that I can carry them around with me: the Ace of Wands, Strength and the Ace of Swords. Every day, they remind me what I can create, how I can overcome and what I need to cut away.

Even so, as much as The Wild Unknown holds a part of my spirit, it likes to wander and find itself in new places. I’m always drawn to find a part of myself in something new and if it has gilding on the edges, I’m gone. I have always been a sucker for shiny things. After experiencing The Wild Unknown, I was drawn into the world of Prisma Visions. The Wild Unknown Tarot helped me through a period of growth where I became completely myself and opened me up to what was possible. The world of Prima Visions Tarot was an explosion of colour that lit up the dark and showed me what my world could look like, and it was a world that I wanted to explore. I felt like with each card that I was being drawn into a world where there was finally balance between the light and the dark. I found those cards when I needed to let myself shine because I didn’t want to hide who I was anymore. Those cards showed me that it was okay.

I could go on, but we would be here for a while. When people ask me how many decks I have, I truthfully don’t know the answer. I would wager somewhere between one-hundred or two. There have been decks that have been sold to others or given away to one of my friends who was in need of a little bit of wisdom, but other than that, they have stayed.

I’ve always thought of Tarot cards like doors, they invite into a world of the artists creation. The person who has created the deck is alive within each card, each pigment, each sword, pentacle, cup or wand. The decks that call to me are often at random or ones I’ve been told about, or I spot them on my journeys in stores (both mortar and online). If I know that the store sells Tarot decks, that’s the first thing I go to look at. I almost always find something to take home.

It’s not about just buying a new deck. There has to be some kind of spark or story, waiting to be unravelled and lived in. I’m a firm believer that Tarot decks are spirit keepers. I write and paint. I know that a little bit of the magic that I create lives inside each of my paintings. My books always hold characters that are parts or pieces of me, every writer does this. Our lives and imagination inspire the rest.

I think that tarot decks are like that, too. The decks always hold the spirit of their creator. They’ve had that vision, that idea, that story that had to be told with tarot cards. They are world creators, giving their idea a canvas to live out their tale, to hold the energy that they want to imbibe the deck with. Every time I open a new tarot deck that called to me, I am opening a door within myself that has either remained closed, or I didn’t know was there in the first place. I usually sit with a tarot deck, flipping through the cards and letting what I see tell me a story. Then I sit and read the guidebook, so that I can see further into the forest. The guidebook gives me the bones of the deck. It is, after all, the deck creators’ story and vision. They take the forest of cards and help to bring them to life.

My tarot collection of tarot decks has become something more. It’s like each deck is a page in the book that tells my journey, mirroring a different part of my path. It’s a large book that I have compiled, much like a tarot deck that is really a book filled with mirrors. I’ve always used tarot for personal reflection and growth, and each card is a reflection of who I am, that’s how I’ve always seen them at any rate. These decks that have been created with care by so many different deck creators and artists. They may have created a forest to lose myself in, but it’s my intuition that gives me the light to shine through.

Either way, I’ve come to realize that there will always be a new deck that catches my eye and tugs at my spirit. I know this and I’ve come to a good place with it. I know that with each year that passes, there will be many more pages to add to the book of my life. I can’t wait to see where the cards will take me next.

I still remember my first tarot deck.

I was a teenager and I had gone to visit my brother. I don’t remember where he was staying at the time, but I remember the gift he gave me. My brother gave me a copy of The Ancient Egyptian Tarot by Clive Barrett. He knew that I loved everything having to do with Egypt and the mysteries that it held. “This looks like something you’d enjoy,” he said.

Never having looked at a tarot deck before, I was unsure of what to do. I followed the direction in the book, shuffled the cards, pull a card for myself and read the meaning in the card. That’s it. Though I loved the artwork of the deck, I didn’t connect with the deck, and I had no idea what to with it. Eventually, I gave the deck away to a friend.

Flash forwards a few years. The Ancient Egyptian Tarot had sparked something in me. I wanted to know more about myself and the world around me. I was drawn to the occult and the tarot once more and began to learn with the Thoth Tarot. Every time that I flicked through the cards, I couldn’t help but remember The Ancient Egyptian Tarot.

I began collecting decks and with each deck, I was able to find a piece of myself that I hadn’t known that I had lost along the way. As humans, we’re all made up of facets, different pieces that make up a whole. I began to find myself in the cards and the strength to delve into the facets that I was made of.

There came a time when my brother was no longer in my life. I began to think of the deck that he had gifted me with. I thought that if I was able to hold on to that deck again, I would at least have a piece of my brother in my life, even if it was only in spirit. When I contacted the friend that I had given the deck to, it was to find that they too had parted ways with it.

I began to look for a copy of The Ancient Egyptian Tarot. I was disheartened to find that it had gone out of print. I thought that shouldn’t be a problem. I looked everywhere online, and I found copies of the paperback book that had come with the cards, but no deck. I did find a copy on eBay, but I wasn’t sure it was a legitimate post and I didn’t want to shell out $300 for something that may be a scam.

I kept up my search throughout the years. It was always the same, I found copies of the book, but there were no cards in sight. I don’t know why I never considered Etsy. I figured that if the original deck was published in 1995 and the cards were long gone, chances were that the original creator was no longer making cards.

Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon Clive Barrett’s Etsy page, and my further astonishment that he had made a new edition of The Ancient Egyptian Tarot. The only thing that it wasn’t available. When I messaged him, he told me that there were issues with the Royal Mail from England and to check back. He would list the deck when it was available to be mailed out internationally.

I checked this afternoon, and the deck was there. Only one copy was listed. Of course, I ordered it. I’m thrilled that after all these years, I’m this much closer to having a copy of The Ancient Egyptian Tarot. It actually seems unreal at this point.

It won’t be the same as having the copy of The Ancient Egyptian Tarot that my brother had given me, I know that. However, with it being a new edition of the deck, it’s my hope that I can form a new relationship with the cards, a relationship that I didn’t have and wasn’t capable of all those years ago.

I know that when I get my copy of the deck, I will take a moment to say thank you to my brother for that gift all those years go.

Tag: Tarot Decks

The Forest in the Mirror – My Journey with Tarot Collecting

The Ancient Egyptian Tarot by Clive Barrett