9 of Wands – Spirit of the Wolf

I’m convinced that Jennifer Cooper Steidley is a Symbol Goddess.

I’ve been a longtime fan of her independently released works including Tarot Disassembled, Tarot Assembled and The Symdala Tarot. They are wonders of symbolic imagery held within the tarot and given a new light and life. They take the Rider Waite Smith Tarot, perhaps the most famous tarot deck, and break every card down into the symbols that each card holds.

The decks are full of symbols, and you’d think that would difficult to read with, but it shows us the pieces and players each Tarot card holds and the energy within. What’s more, her cards let us move them around to tell our own story. Tarot Disassembled helps us take a look at the tarot cards we know so well by breaking each card down to the symbols they contain.

Tarot Assembled breaks down the symbols even more by giving us a gorgeous pallet of colour. I can’t be the only one who responds in a different way for different colours. I feel morose or thoughtful when I see grey, joyous when I see yellow, thoughtful when I see green. Steidley has each let us gaze not upon a card full of symbols, but one single symbol that the Tarot contains. Tarot Assembled has us take a look at the tree that makes up the Tarot and in contemplating the single symbol, we can put the Tarot we know back together.

The Symdala Tarot takes the symbolic journey of the Tarot even further and creates a mandala out of each card. These mandalas give you space to pause, reflect and see even deeper into what the cards mean. What’s more, the words around the edge of each card and the symbols within these circular cards create windows and portals into different parts of ourselves. The cards ask that we meditate upon the images and words that the card holds and I love that about them.

I love the guidebooks that come with each of the decks. They are compendiums of the symbols to be found within and what these symbols mean. They are a wealth of information and knowledge and each time I open one and delve in, I find myself happily lost in a world of words and symbols. I love how Steidley has given me a new way to look within the cards that I know so well and see something new even though I’ve been using the RWS Tarot for years now.

Case in point: I was drawing a card for myself from the Symdala Tarot the other night. I have been going through some health issues and wasn’t surprised to draw the 9 of Wands. What intrigued me was the bandage at the centre of the symbolic mandala. I had never seen a band-aid in the 9 of Wands. I went to my RWS and found the corresponding 9 of Wands card and right there on the man’s head was a bandage. I stopped and looked at the card from the Symdala Tarot and the RWS side by side and I really appreciated how Steidley took a card I knew so well and helped me to see something new within it. It’s like this every time when I’m using her cards.

I was beyond thrilled to hear that Tarot Dissembled was being published by Weiser. I love this deck so much because it started me on my journey of looking deeper within the cards. When I first started using the independently published Tarot Disassembled, I would draw a card and find myself being drawn to a particular symbol. Even through the symbols were all separated, if I followed them, they told a story. When I would read with other decks that were based off the RWS Tarot, I would see symbols that Steidley had brought out into the light. I’m can see the symbols so much more clearly.

More than that, she helped me to fall in love with the Tarot again because she made its language simpler to understand. After so many years of reading Tarot cards, things can start to seem a little boring. I sometimes lose my enthusiasm about Tarot, like everything else in life. Sometimes you need a break. I love all of my decks (and there are a lot of them) but there’s just something about going back to Tarot Dissambled that gives me a reset and much needed reboot. Having the symbols laid out for me reveals the language that Tarot uses to communicate. The decks by Jennifer Cooper Steidley are all like this, but Tarot Disassembled has a special place in my heart because it’s where I first saw the skeleton of each card through the images that she created.

Tarot Disassembled brought so much light into my life and not just because of the symbols that were finally given the limelight they deserved. The whole deck is a fabulous riot colour and it was my hope that when the Wieser version of Tarot Disassembled was published that it would honour the spirit of the deck I knew so well.

Thankfully, the Red Wheel/Weiser Books edition of Tarot Disassembled is just as amazing as the independently published version of the deck. The cardstock is lovely, the matte finish whispery and the yellow edges are amazing. My favourite colour is purple, so I was thrilled beyond words to find out that it had been added to the colour pallet of the cards. It was a joy to go through a deck that I knew so well to see if I could spot the differences in the cards.

I think what I love most is the fact that the Red Wheel/Weiser Books edition of Tarot Disassembled preserved the heart and spirit that makes the deck so special. The guidebook is still the wonderful grimoire of symbols, legend and lore and the cards are spectacular. I’ve got my first and second edition of the Tarot Disassembled, and they are thrilled to welcome their new sibling.

The Tarot Disassembled deck and guidebook by Jennifer Cooper Steidley and published by Red Wheel/Weiser Books is absolute magic.

You can learn mor about Jennifer by visiting her website here: https://www.jennifersteidley.com/

I was tired the next morning.

I had a fitful night sleeping on the floor in Lisa’s bedroom. I was exhausted from all the changes that had happened in my life over such a short period of time. Lisa tried to get me out of myself. I found it hard to show enthusiasm about much of anything and I missed Sunshine and the life I had before.

During my time away from the streets, I had aged out of the Youth Services Bureau when I turned eighteen. It’s not that I couldn’t go back, but I was not allowed to stay. I was too old and the fact that I could never go back to that part of my life filled me with a malaise I couldn’t name. I was constantly being asked to change, to adapt, to embrace. I was being asked to move forward, but I wasn’t sure how.

“You have to stop holding on to everything,” Lisa said. “It’s not healthy. You need to focus on the now.”

We were sitting out front of her apartment having a cigarette. She didn’t often give me life advice, but she was the queen of living in the now. “Who knows what the future holds? You can’t imagine the worst that is yet to come. You’ve got enough on your mind, I can see that. You don’t do well with change.”

I thought of all the changes I had experienced in my life in the past while and thought I had done pretty well with change and told her so. “You haven’t lived my life.”

“I know I haven’t,” she said. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t see. You are walking around all world weary but you’re at the age where you are supposed to be experiencing life. C’mon, get your cards.”

I sighed, put out my cigarette and went to my purple backpack to retrieve my tarot cards and brought them back outside. Lisa motioned at me and said “Well, you know what to do. Shuffle and draw.”

Shuffling the cards, I thought about all the changes I had been through and the weight I was carrying and how to let go of it. I drew the 9 of Wands. It showed four men trying to shift the weight of a statue, but he wasn’t doing so alone. There were others helping him to shift the weight so that they could move the statue.

“See?”

“See what?” I asked her, not sure what she was getting at.

“You carry the weight of your journey, but you are being reminded that you don’t have to do it alone.”

“I always have,” I told her.

“Then maybe it’s time you don’t. I can carry some of your weight, Sophie will help. You have friends on the streets and in the Pagan community and we’re all with you because we know you.” She lit another cigarette. “Didn’t I tell you that you were a warrior witch? It’s because you know how to fight your battles, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t ask for help. You don’t have to do everything on your own or fight battles all the time. You should let people in and let them help you.”

I thought about what she said. “I’ve been taught to do everything on my own.”

“Just because that’s the way you were taught doesn’t mean that you have to live that way all of your life. It must be so exhausting. I couldn’t do everything on my own. I have Paul and my roommate Frank to help me when I need it and my boyfriend Carl when he’s here in town. You don’t have to do everything on your own, Jamieson.” She motioned at the card. “Let someone else hold the Wands for once.”

I looked again at the card and saw that without the other people in the card the man trying to move the statue would never have gotten it done. Was I making my life more difficult for myself by trying to do everything on my own?

I would have to decide what to do, whether or not I was able to let anyone else into my life the way that Lisa was talking about. I was tired, but proud. Was I too proud to accept help and support from other people? I looked at the man within the 9 of Wands and knew that I would need to change my habits.

“Look, I can see from your face that you are going deep into yourself. Come out with me tonight? We’re going to go and play pool.”

“I suck at pool.”

“So do I, but that’s not the point. The point is that sometimes, we have to laugh at ourselves to that we can find a way forward. Sound good?”

Tag: 9 of Wands

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