The sky was the depth and wonder of black velvet.
The air around me was filled with the promise of something wonderful. It had taken me a week to make my costume. I was going as Demeter and Rhonda was dressing as a succubus. We had found my wig at the Zesty Mart on Bank Street; it had a good selection of stuff for Halloween costumes. The wig looked like real hair, and it gave me a black bob. It made me look older than I was. I had done my own makeup and had given myself blue shadowy eyelids and dramatic cheekbones.
I had found a long bolt of blue cloth and had arrange it to fall off one shoulder. I had found another bolt of black tuille and had sewn to hang from the waist of a simple black skirt. I wore my Doc Martins and carried a basket filled to the brim with leaves that I had collected and arranged. My costume was supposed to make me look as if I had been wandering among the snow, looking for her daughter. I had paled out my skin with white powder.
We were dressed for the Witches Ball. We were meeting Lisa and Darnelle there and a few more of our friends. I knew that Sophie, Fox and Jenn. Catherine was coming with Vince and Amanda. It was odd to me to me to have so many people I knew coming together. It filled me with feeling akin to joy, but it was somehow more. It shone brighter within me and I danced upon the thrum of this feeling as we skipped closer to Barrymore’s.
Barrymore’s threw the Witches Ball every year and I had never been before. I had been told to expect a night of magic and wonder and merriment. From the sea of people dressed in costumes, the others had not led me wrong. When we entered the bar, it was to find a sea of people in costumes and a band playing music on the stage. There would be a few bands tonight. The stage had been draped in webs and streamers that were made to look like a spider’s web. The triple moon had been painted on the stage wall and there were lights made to resemble candles everywhere.
It was too loud to speak sometimes, but we leaned in close and lost ourselves to the joy of finding others we knew in the crowd of people. I waved at Rainbow and Sunshine came in for a quick hug before heading to the bar. Catherine pulled me onto the dance floor so that I could lose myself to the music that was thumping through the room. It was filled with the bunt smell of smoke, the tang of sweat and a heady cloud of sage.
I let myself get lost in the music and the joy of the moment. The veil was thin tonight, and I knew that there was the potential for great things to be done tonight. I looked at everyone as I danced and I knew that I was lucky. In that moment, the air filled with the sounds of joy, I knew that my life had not gone to plan, but it had brought me here to be present when magic was being made.
The people around me, those that filled my life with such light, showed me that I was wealthier than I had ever thought possible. I had lost one family and gained another. Likewise, I had lost one home only to find another.
A lot had been taken from me, but I had found what mattered most: a place to call my own where I could build the foundations I needed. It felt weird and kind of magical to know that I had a home to go to, a bed of my own and a door that I could lock against the world if I chose to, or open to let the world in.
As I danced, I took hold of the Pentacle that I wore around my neck. It rooted me to this moment, to the earth around me. Within the room, I could see fire, breathe in air, feel the earth beneath my feet and drink libation. I knew at that moment, that I was everything that the earth offered. Holding onto that Pentacle, I knew who I was and I was finally at home in myself.
It was an odd feeling but one mad all the sweeter when the music changed and the bar started playing a remix of Rasputin by Bony M. I let out a laugh. My life was completely unrecognizable from where this path had begun.
I lost myself to the music and the scent of sage, sweat and booze that filled the air. I danced and I looked forward to what would come.
Spirit of the Wolf 