There were many people who showed me kindness, fresh as I was to the streets.
None more so than Sunshine. He truly fit the name he had chosen for himself. I remember the first time I saw him. He exuded colour and I watched as he walked and talked to others. Their very faces lit up when he spoke to them, truly a light in their lives. There was a brightness about him that was genuine.
He came up to me right away and hugged me as if he had known me forever. He could feel me tensing up. I wasn’t prepared or used to random acts of kindness like a hug. From what my brother had told me, you had to protect yourself and protect your own. You could make friends, sure, but never let your guard down.
It didn’t feel like Sunshine had any guard up at all. He was just so completely himself that you couldn’t help but love him back. Loving Sunshine was instantaneous, and it felt wonderful in a world that had all of a sudden become very uncertain.
“Honey! Hi!” He hugged me again. “I know who you are of course. I knew your brother. Everyone here does. Who are you staying with? You gotta come with me, I’m going to take you some place nice. It’s wonderful. Have you ever heard of the Youth Service’s Bureau?”
He talked in a constant stream and I had to keep up with him. When I told him that I was staying with Shades, he pulled a face. “That one, I don’t know. I tell you, I’ve seen him around and you gotta be careful with him.” His face darkened as if a shadow had come alive across his skin. “He takes what he wants. Just know that whatever happens, you can come and stay with me, okay?”
He took me to the front doors of the Youth Services Bureau, and it didn’t look like much, just another building. I had no idea what to expect, but when we walked through the doors, the first thing I noticed were the kids like me. They were all milling about and there was food being served. Sunshine took my hand and brought me further into the building, introducing me to everyone there.
“That’s Angel, she’s an amazing artist. You should see her chalk drawings. This is Teddy. He’s trying to figure out who he is like we all are. This is Mike and Tash, they’re dating, and Tash is a photographer. Mike writes slam poetry. Josh and Nicky are like cousins or something, and they’re both singers.”
It seemed that the streets held no end of talent. Looking around the YSB, I could see kids reading while they ate or talking on a nearby telephone. There were other kids painting or drawing. I was drawn to the large bookshelf filled with copies of books that had been loved. “We’re free to take a book if we want one, isn’t that cool? There’s even a place where we can get showers if we need one.”
I followed him out to a small courtyard out back. There were a couple of picnic tables and there were more kids smoking. Sunshine and I joined them and he gave me a cigarette and lit it for me. Taking a puff off his own, he cocked his head at me. “You look like you’re full of questions, honey. So, spill.”
It took me a moment to form what I wanted to ask. There were so many words running around him my mind and I didn’t know where to start. Finally, I spoke the question that came to my lips. I tried to ignore the fear in the back of my head. “Everyone is themselves.” I said. “I don’t know if I will ever be that confident here or that comfortable.”
“Honey, don’t believe a word of it. Angel left home to get away from her parents. Teddy was kicked out when he told his parents that he liked boys. Mike found Tash living on the streets in Montreal and she came home with him here. Josh and Nicky had to go into foster care after their parents left.” He took my free hand in his. “We’re all just making it through the best we can. We all look out for each other, and that includes you.”
We sat on the tables, our eyes closed, and our faces upturned towards the sun.
Spirit of the Wolf 