The job at the city yard went well.
At the beginning of my shift, I would clean the kitchen, locker room and bathroom, swept the garage’s concrete, losing myself in the work. Sometimes, Gus would play some rock music within the garage, and I would find myself dancing along to the music, only when Gus wasn’t watching. I figured it was best not to antagonize him too much. He already suspected that I was gay and there wasn’t much I could do to change his mind about that, even if it was true.
I tried to stay out of his way and for the most part I succeeded, but there was no way I could stretch eight four hours of work into eight, no matter how hard I tried. I cleaned the same surfaces every day and I kept them clean, but there came a time in the day where there was nothing left for me to do. I would sit and read on a chair I kept near the door so that way I could take a walk every few minutes to look over the surfaces I had cleaned.
After a few days of this, Frank let out a large sigh. “You might as well come over here and talk to me.” He held out his pack of cigarettes. “You want one?”
I knew a peace offering when I saw one and I took a cigarette. I sat down slowly across from him, ready to move back to my chair should he suddenly change his mind. It felt like I was sitting down with some kind of mob boss, and I half expected a cat to hop up on Gus’ lap and for Gus to start petting him. Instead, he was holding out a cigarette. I took it gratefully and sat down across from him. I lit it and watched him watching me.
We each took a drag off our cigarettes and let out a plume of smoke. “Your fingers look funny with that shit on them.” Gus said.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He jabbed his cigarette in the air. “Don’t you dare apologize to me.”
“I’m-” I had been about to do just that when I stopped myself. “Okay.”
“That’s better.” He puffed away on his cigarette for a moment longer. “You’re always doing that. Just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Though I’d kick my friends’ asses if they did that to me.
We smoked in silence again. Gus kept shooting glances at the book that I had on my lap. The cover showed black cat and the moon over a green background. “Time Cat,” I told him, taking out a well-loved paperback. I had found it at the Youth Services Bureau, and it had never left my bag since. I had read it so many times by now that sometime, I would thumb the book open to a random page and start reading it from there. “It’s a really amazing book.”
“You read a lot, then? Never stop reading. I put a book down once wen I was young and never picked up the habit again.” He took a drag off his cigarette. “Never lose the habit, kid. Never lose the habit.
“I won’t.” I told him.
I watched Gus out of the corner of my eye. He really didn’t say a lot and, as far as I could see, he didn’t do a lot aside from sitting in the garage, smoking cigarettes, his blue eyes shrouded by thick eyebrows and a haze of smoke. We passed an entire day, and the word faggot didn’t come up again. I doubt he had been talked to by his co-workers for calling me out, it didn’t seem like that kind of garage. I didn’t think that Gus and I would be sharing phone numbers any time soon, but I seemed to have made it over some kind of hurdle with him. I felt like I had won a race and I was standing proud on the finish line. He seemed to actually like me a little and I felt like I was being honoured. I wanted to make him proud, so I made sure to continue doing good work and cleaning every surface that I could see.
Gus waved at me, the cigarette dangling from his fingers making him look as if he were conducting a piece of magic. He opened his mouth to speak, and I wondered what words of wisdom would come out. “Fuck sakes, kid. Slow the fuck down. You’re going to make the rest of us look bad.”
Spirit of the Wolf 