Lisa’s stepson Paul was in a relationship with a woman named Karla. She was far too thin, more skeleton than woman. It’s what I noticed about her first. The other thing I noticed was that she had a lazy eye like I did. It was as if I had found one of the others marked by spirit.
I often thought that people with lazy or wandering eyes could see into two worlds at once and that was certainly true of Karla. She was completely free. I often wonder where she came from. It was as if a spark floated down through the air and when it hit the ground, Karla came to be. She had that air of fleeting movement about her even when she was standing still.
She wore her black hair like a curtain that her eyes just peeked out from behind and when she saw me, her eyes brightened. The first time I met her, Karla caught me off guard when she came right up to me and wrapped her arms around me in a surprisingly strong hug filled with warmth. When broke the embrace, she looked at me with green eyes that shone like amber flecked with light.
“Well, all right then!” She gave me another quick squeeze. “Don’t you feel like you’re just waking up?”
“I woke up a few hours ago.”
“No, I mean in here.” She lightly tapped my chest. “In here. I feel like I’ve just started coming into myself, you know?” Karla looked at me and it was as if I could feel her reaching into me through my eyes so that she could know all of me. “You’ve been on your journey a lot longer than me, haven’t you?” She gave me a quizzical look. “Your spirit has been travelling for a long time; a lot longer than you know.”
She trailed out onto the front porch and lit up a duMaurier, lighting another and handing it to me. “Have you known Lisa for long?”
“I just met her a few months ago,” I told her.
“But it feels like you’ve known her forever, right?” She nodded as if I had already spoken. “Just like you. I feel like we’re kindred spirits.”
“You just met me.” I say, wishing I could the words back already. I was trying not to have my guard up so much. I didn’t need to protect myself from everyone. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? You don’t have anything to be sorry about. But don’t you feel it?” She nods her head again, looking at me hopefully.
To my surprise, I did. There was just a lightness about her that wanted to pull me in and the scent around her was the loveliest incense, like sage and cedarwood. She smelled of smoke and flowers. I nodded back at her and her scent somehow grew larger and reminded me of the smell of campfire. She brought joy and innoncence with her; I could see and sense that right away.
I smiled despite my want to keep myself guarded against people. It was my natural inclination after everything I had been through and yet, with Karla, there was kinship right away. I was reminded of Anne of Green Gables and her friend Diana Bishop. It just felt like it was meant to be, with no pretense or build up. Karla was giving me the opportunity to see the world in a different way by engaging with it rather than hiding from it.
I wanted to take the plunge.
Lisa was all about taking life by it’s balls and either cutting them off and using them in a spell or squeezing them until they turned blue and she got her way. That was her power. Karla’s power was different.
She helped you to see the best of yourself, despite what had happened to you. Even though I carried shadows within, her brightness helped me to see not only through but past them. Karla made me thirsty for the future in front of me.
I had never thought of my future before, only the present moment that I found myself in, the minute, hour the day. I never thought of tomorrow. Karla’s power helped me to finally believe that a tomorrow was possible for me.
Spirit of the Wolf 